How To Find Out What Torture Is – The Contract

I hereby allow myself to become waterboarded, have my head smashed into a wall, deprived of sleep for over a week, and whatever other techniques are deemed necessary, for my torturers to get whatever information they are looking for. This will last indefinitely.

Signed

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I should probably put a bonus clause in the contract. The following information would need to be gathered before showing a potential … debater this form that they can defend their idea with.  Find out something that your opponent wouldn’t do for a million dollars (more if your opponent is rich), that way if the torturer can’t get the information – not from lack of trying, you’re both just really bad at 200 questions – then he’d be able to do that task instead, for free of course.

Anyone willing to sign it?

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